Noin the Vampire Slayer: Once More with Feeling
by Squire Trowa
Summary: Noin takes Buffy's place slaying vamps and demons, but when Sweet dances into town the Gundam Slayerettes start singing to make us laugh. WARNING: YURIYAOI


SEASON 6, EPISODE #7 ONCE MORE WITH FEELING CHARACTERS: BUFFY: NOIN  
  
WILLOW: SALLY  
  
XANDER: DUO  
  
GILES: HOWARD  
  
SPIKE: RELENA  
  
ANYA: HEERO TARA: CATHERINE  
  
DAWN: MARIAMAIA  
  
HOWARD VOICEOVER: Previously on Noin the Vampire Slayer...  
  
Noin tied up in Relena's dungeon.  
  
RELENA: I love you.  
  
NOIN: Oh my god.  
  
Sally and the others doing the spell to revive Noin.  
  
SALLY: Here lies the warrior of the people. Let her cross over.  
  
Noin's corpse regenerating.  
  
Noin talking to Relena in the alley.  
  
NOIN: I think I was in heaven. I was torn out of there, by my friends. They can never know.  
  
HOWARD: We can't ignore this kind of behavior.  
  
Mariamaia stealing a coin at the magic shop.  
  
HOWARD: Something needs to be done before it spins out of control.  
  
NOIN: I'm glad you're here to take care of it.  
  
DUO: We're getting married.  
  
CATHERINE: Congratulations.  
  
Sally doing a spell.  
  
CATHERINE: Sally, you are using too much magic.  
  
Sally and Catherine in the bedroom.  
  
CATHERINE: Can we not do this now?  
  
SALLY: Just ... forget it ever happened.  
  
Sally picking up the forget herb.  
  
SALLY: Forget.  
  
Act I  
  
Open in Noin's bedroom, morning. The words "Once More, With Feeling" splash across the screen in the style of an old movie musical. Pan down to reveal an old-fashioned alarm clock (the kind with actual bells). The clock hits 7:00 and the alarm goes off. Reveal Noin in bed, rolling over to glare at the clock. She reaches over, picks it up, looks at it.  
  
Sally walking across her bedroom, then she turns and goes back the way she came. Grabs a sweater from a chair and exits into the bathroom. As she goes, we see Catherine making the bed. She finds the herb that Sally used to do the "forget" spell. Catherine picks it up, sniffs it, smiles.  
  
Pan to the hallway. Mariamaia runs out of her room and over to the bathroom door. She knocks on the door while jumping from foot to foot as if she has to pee. Sally comes out of the bathroom brushing her hair. Mariamaia rushes into the bathroom. Pan across the hallway again to reveal Noin still lying in bed, awake.  
  
Cut to the magic shop.  
  
Duo and Heero are looking at a bridal magazine, smiling and talking. A customer comes over and Heero escorts her toward the cash register. Pan across to Mariamaia standing by the bookshelves looking at a book. Howard comes over and takes the book away. Mariamaia looks annoyed. Howard gestures with the book and she walks off. Pan to the round table where we see Sally and Catherine looking at a book together and taking notes. Pan further and we see Noin sitting next to Catherine, sketching on a pad. Howard comes over and holds a large axe in Noin's line of sight. Then he gestures with his head toward the back and walks away. Noin puts down her sketch pad, gets up and follows Howard toward the workout room, taking off her sweater as she goes.  
  
Cut to the graveyard, night.  
  
Noin walks along, looking around. Suddenly, without reason, she starts to sing. NOIN:  
  
Every single night, the same arrangement  
  
I go out and fight the fight.  
  
Still I always feel this strange estrangement  
  
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right. A vampire appears from behind a gravestone, rushes at Noin. She spins him around, continues singing. NOIN:  
  
I've been making shows of [punch] trading blows  
  
Just hoping no one knows [kick, grabs vampire and throws him behind her]  
  
That I've been going through the motions  
  
Walking through the part. Noin pulls a stake from her jacket pocket. The vamp attacks her from behind and she stakes him without looking back.  
  
NOIN: Nothing seems to penetrate my heart. She resumes walking and singing. NOIN:  
  
I was always brave, and kind of righteous.  
  
Now I find I'm wavering. We see two vampires and a demon gathered near a tree. There's a person tied to the tree. The vampires see Noin and attack.  
  
NOIN:  
  
Crawl out of your grave, you'll find this fight just [punches a vampire]  
  
Doesn't mean a thing. [punches second vamp]  
  
VAMP 1:  
  
She ain't got that swing. The vamp punches Noin and she goes down. A sword is stuck in the ground beside her. She lies there on her back. Sound of crickets chirping. NOIN: Thanks for noticing. She continues lying there as the two vamps and the demon begin to do a dance. VAMPS AND DEMON:  
  
She does pretty well with fiends from hell  
  
But lately we can tell [Noin gets up and grabs the sword]  
  
That she's just going through the motions  
  
DEMON:  
  
Going through the motions. Noin pulls Vamp 1 away, cuts off his head with the sword. VAMP 2: Faking it somehow. [Noin pushes him aside, stabs the demon]  
  
DEMON: She's not even half the girl she- [looks down at his wound] ow. The demon falls over. Noin continues walking, holding the sword. NOIN:  
  
Will I stay this way forever?  
  
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor? She uses the sword to cut the ropes that are tying the person to a tree. The person comes around the tree trunk and we see it's a very good-looking man. HANDSOME GUY:  
  
How can I repay-  
  
NOIN:  
  
Whatever. She turns away, tosses the sword aside and continues walking. NOIN:  
  
I don't want to beeeeee...  
  
[walks up onto a raised platform ringed by statues, stops]  
  
Going through the motions  
  
Losing all my drive.  
  
I can't even see  
  
If this is really me  
  
And I just want to be-  
  
Vamp 2 attacks her and she stakes him. He explodes into dust which forms an artful cloud, obscuring Noin from view, then clears as she sings the final word. NOIN: Aliiiiiive. Wide aerial shot of Buffy standing amidst the gravestones.  
  
Cut to magic shop, day. The bell jingles. NOIN enters. HOWARD: (Off Screen) Good morning, Noin! We see Sally and Catherine standing by the counter. Howard in background. SALLY: Oh, hey, did Mariamaia get off to school all right?  
  
NOIN: (distracted) What? Oh, uh, yeah. I think so. Noin walks farther into the store. We see Duo sitting at the round table holding a donut in each hand. Duo: Respect the cruller. And tame the donut! Heero passes by en route to the counter. Heero: That's still funny, sweetie. Heero goes behind the counter. Howard looks in the box of donuts, takes one out, takes a bite. NOIN: So, uh, no research? Nothing going on? Monsters or whatnot? Howard and Duo shake their heads "no," continue eating donuts. NOIN: Good! Good. (awkwardly) Uh, so, did anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um ... burst into song? Howard stops chewing. Everyone stares at Noin for a moment. Duo: Merciful Zeus! Sally, Catherine, and Heero rush over. Everyone talks at once. SALLY: We thought it was just us!  
  
HOWARD: Well, I sang but I had my guitar at the hotel...  
  
CATHERINE: It was bizarre. We were talking and then it was like-  
  
NOIN: Like you were in a musical!  
  
CATHERINE: Yeah!  
  
HOWARD: That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldn't see and the synchronized dancing from the room service chaps.  
  
SALLY: We did a whole duet about dish washing.  
  
HEERO: And we were arguing and, and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies and the dance with coconuts.  
  
SALLY: There was an entire verse about the cous-cous.  
  
DUO: It was very disturbing. [The above is everyone talking at once.] HOWARD: (to Noin) What did you sing about?  
  
NOIN: (pauses) I don't remember. But i-it seemed perfectly normal.  
  
DUO: But disturbing. And not the natural order of things, and do you think it'll happen again?  
  
HOWARD: I don't know. I should look into it.  
  
SALLY: With the books.  
  
CATHERINE: Do we have any books on this?  
  
DUO: Well, we just gotta break it down. Look at the factors before it happens again. Because I for one- [Howard begins to sing, interrupting Duo.]  
  
HOWARD:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
That it's a demon  
  
A dancing demon!  
  
No, something isn't right there.  
  
SALLY:  
  
I've got a theory  
  
Some kid is dreamin'  
  
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare. [Catherine doing "jazz hands"]  
  
DUO:  
  
I've got a theory we should work this out.  
  
HEERO/CATHERINE/SALLY/DUO:  
  
It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?  
  
DUO: [jumps up]  
  
It could be witches!  
  
Some evil witches! [sees Sally's and Catherine's expressions]  
  
Which is ridiculous, 'cause witches they were persecuted,  
  
Wicca good and love the earth and woman power  
  
and I'll be over here. [sits]  
  
HEERO: I've got a theory! It could be bunnies! Silence. The others just stare at her. Sound of crickets chirping. CATHERINE: I've got a- Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over Heero. HEERO: (shrieking a la Alanis Morissette)  
  
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!  
  
They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses!  
  
And what's with all the carrots?  
  
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?  
  
[playing air guitar]  
  
Bunnies!  
  
Bunnies!  
  
It must be bunnies! Fireworks go off all around her, then the smoke clears away. The others continue simply staring. HEERO: (back to original melody)  
  
Or maybe midgets.  
  
SALLY: (quickly sits down beside Howard and opens a book)  
  
I've got a theory we should work this fast.  
  
SALLY/HOWARD:  
  
Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed. Howard gets up, starts to climb the stairs to the loft. NOIN: I've got a theory. It doesn't matter. Howard pauses, turns back. Everyone looks at Noin. Noin:  
  
What can't we face if we're together?  
  
What's in this place that we can't weather?  
  
Apocalypse?  
  
We've all been there.  
  
The same old trips  
  
Why should we care?  
  
ALL EXCEPT HOWARD:  
  
What can't we do if we get in it?  
  
We'll work it through within a minute. Noin looks at Howard throughout this. He watches her too and finally joins in. ALL:  
  
We have to try  
  
We'll pay the price  
  
It's do or die  
  
NOIN:  
  
Hey, I've died twice. Howard smiles, comes down off the ladder. ALL: What can't we face if we're together?  
  
HOWARD: (descant) What can't we face...  
  
ALL: What's in this place that we can't weather?  
  
HOWARD: ...if we're together...  
  
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.  
  
HEERO: (sits) Except for bunnies.  
  
DUO: (sits) See, okay, that was disturbing.  
  
SALLY: (sits) I thought it was neat.  
  
NOIN: So what is it? What's causing it?  
  
HOWARD: I thought it didn't matter.  
  
NOIN: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.  
  
HEERO: Well, is it just us? I mean, is it only happening to us? (Noin turns away) 'Cause that would probably mean a spell or- Noin goes to the door, opens it. The bell jingles. Cut to the street. A man stands in the street holding a shirt in a dry- cleaning bag. MAN: (sings) They got ... the mustard ... out! We see a whole crowd of people standing in dance formation holding dry- cleaning bags. They do a synchronized dance, waving the clothing around. CROWD: (sings) They got the mustard out! Noin turns back into the store, closes the door. NOIN: It's not just us. Cut to later. Mariamaia enters the store wearing a huge smile. MARIAMAIA: Oh my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.  
  
Reveal the rest of the gang sitting around the table looking at books. NOIN: Everybody started singing and dancing? Mariamaia looks disappointed. MARIAMAIA: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.  
  
HEERO: Oh my god, did it sing? Shot of Sally and Catherine whispering to each other. MARIAMAIA: So, you guys too, huh? (walks closer)  
  
DUO: So what'd you guys sing about?  
  
MARIAMAIA: (sighs) Math. Mariamaia puts down her backpack, sits on a stool by the counter. We see Sally whispering in Catherine's ear. CATHERINE: (loudly) Tha-That's right! The, the volume. The text.  
  
HOWARD: What text?  
  
SALLY: The volume-y text. You know? The, the (mumbles) report.  
  
DUO: The what now?  
  
CATHERINE: Oh, there's just a few volumes back at the house that deal with mystical chants, bacchanals. Mariamaia glances at the counter, sees a necklace lying there. CATHERINE: It might be relevant.  
  
SALLY: Yeah, we could, um-  
  
HOWARD: Well, I'm a hair's breadth from investigating bunnies at the moment, so I'm open to anything. Mariamaia furtively picks up the necklace and puts it in her pocket. SALLY: Great, we'll, uh, go check it out and uh, we'll give you a call.  
  
CATHERINE: Yeah, this could blow the whole thing wide open.  
  
Cut to Sally and Catherine walking through a park. It's sunny and beautiful. Green grass, blue sky, etc. CATHERINE: Do we have any books at all at home?  
  
SALLY: Well, who wants to be cooped up on a day like this? The sun is shining, there's songs going on... A couple of young men walk by and look at Sally and Catherine as they pass.  
  
SALLY: ...those guys are checking you out.  
  
CATHERINE: What? (turns to look) Wh-What are they looking at?  
  
SALLY: The hotness of you, doofus.  
  
CATHERINE: Those boys really thought I was hot? (looks back at them again)  
  
SALLY: Entirely.  
  
CATHERINE: Oh my god. I'm cured! I want the boys! Catherine makes like she's going to run after the guys. Sally grabs her and pulls her back. Catherine giggles. SALLY: Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.  
  
They stand underneath a tree, leaning on a wooden railing. CATHERINE: I'm just ... not used to that. They-they were really looking at me?  
  
SALLY: (fondly) And you can't imagine what they see in you.  
  
CATHERINE: I know exactly what they see in me. You.  
  
CATHERINE:  
  
I lived my life in shadow  
  
Never the sun on my face.  
  
It didn't seem so sad, though  
  
I figured that was my place  
  
Now I'm bathed in light  
  
[walking out from the shade, lifting her face to the sun]  
  
Something just isn't right  
  
I'm under your spell  
  
How else could it be  
  
Anyone would notice me?  
  
It's magic, I can tell  
  
How you set me free  
  
Brought me out so easily.  
  
Pan across a little stream with a bridge over it. Sally and Catherine are on the bridge. Catherine takes Sally's hand and they walk off the bridge onto a path, holding hands. CATHERINE:  
  
I saw a world enchanted  
  
Spirits and charms in the air. Catherine makes a gesture with her arm and sparkles appear, following her hand with a little tinkling noise. CATHERINE:  
  
I always took for granted  
  
I was the only one there. Sally makes some even more impressive sparkles with her hand, ending in a small shower of sparks surrounding them both. They smile at each other. CATHERINE:  
  
But your power shone  
  
Brighter than any I've known. Catherine spins away from Sally. We see a small pond at the edge of the grass. Catherine begins to dance. CATHERINE:  
  
I'm under your spell  
  
Nothing I can do  
  
You just took my soul with you A couple of young women are on the grass sunbathing in the background. They get up and begin dancing in sync with Catherine. CATHERINE:  
  
You worked your charms so well  
  
Finally, I knew  
  
Everything I dreamed was true  
  
You made me believe.  
  
SUNBATHERS:  
  
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh (etc...) Catherine and Sally spin around in each other's arms. Suddenly they are in their bedroom. They sit down on the bed and look lovingly at each other. The music and background "ahh, ahh" continues. CATHERINE:  
  
The moon to the tide  
  
I can feel you inside  
  
I'm under your spell [lies down on the bed]  
  
Surging like the sea [Sally leans over her, smiles]  
  
Wanting you so helplessly  
  
I break with every swell [Sally moves downward, disappears out of shot]  
  
Lost in ecstasy  
  
Spread beneath my willow tree  
  
You make me complete! Catherine's body slowly rises up and hovers over the bed. CATHERINE:  
  
You make me complete  
  
You make me complete  
  
You make me...  
  
Cut back to the magic shop.  
  
Everyone still looking at books. DUO: I bet they're not even working.  
  
NOIN: Who now?  
  
DUO: Sally and Catherine. You see the way they were with each other? The get-a-roominess to them? I bet they're- (glances at Mariamaia, catches himself) Singing. They're probably singing right now.  
  
HOWARD: I'm sure Sally and Catherine are making every effort.  
  
DUO: Oh, yeah.  
  
NOIN: Duo.  
  
Mariamaia: Noin, it's okay. I do know about this stuff. Besides, it's all kinda romantic.  
  
NOIN/DUO: No it's not!  
  
MARIAMAIA: Come on! Songs, dancing around. What's gonna be wrong with that?  
  
Cut to the Bronze. It's dark. A man is tap-dancing across the floor. Cut closer and we see that his expression is scared and desperate. He continues dancing and suddenly bursts into flame, screaming. He falls to the floor in front of a pair of feet in red shoes and red pants. Pan up to reveal a demon in a red suit, with red skin and a pointy chin. SWEET: That's entertainment.  
  
Blackout.  
  
Act II  
  
Open on exterior shot of Duo's apartment building.  
  
DUO: You want some breakfast, baby? Cut to the bedroom. Duo and Heero still in bed.  
  
HEERO: You don't have to go to work?  
  
DUO: Nah, I shut the crew down for the day. My guys start dancing around me, I don't know if I can deal. It's a flab thing. So, waffles?  
  
HEERO: Will you still make me waffles when we're married?  
  
NO: No, I'll only make them for myself, but by California law, you will own half of them. (kisses him) Hey, how about omelettes? I could do an omelette. I've almost got that-  
  
Duo continues talking unintelligibly as Heero sits up and begins to sing to the camera.  
  
HEERO:  
  
This is the man that I plan to entangle  
  
Isn't he fine?  
  
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle  
  
Vengeance was mine!  
  
But I'm out of the biz  
  
The name I made, I'll trade for his  
  
The only trouble is [pauses, shakes her head]  
  
I'll never tell. Heero gets up and walks off. Duo sits up in bed and sings to the camera. DUO:  
  
He is the one  
  
He's such wonderful fun  
  
Such passion and grace. Heero returns, sits beside him to put on him slippers. Duo fondles her knee. DUO:  
  
Warm in the night when I'm right in his tight- [catches himself]  
  
Embrace! Tight embrace! [hugs him]  
  
I'll never let her go [Heero putting slippers on]  
  
The love we've known can only grow  
  
There's just one thing that - no.  
  
I'll never tell.  
  
BOTH:  
  
'Cause there's nothing to tell. Cut to the two of them leaving the bedroom, emerging into the living room. HEERO:  
  
He snores.  
  
DUO:  
  
He wheezes.  
  
HEERO:  
  
Say 'housework' and he freezes.  
  
DUO: [opens the fridge]  
  
He eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe. Duo picks up a green cheese, sniffs it and makes an "ew" face. HEERO:  
  
I talk, he breezes.  
  
DUO:  
  
He doesn't know what pleases.  
  
HEERO:  
  
His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! [Duo looks annoyed, closes fridge]  
  
BOTH:  
  
The vibe gets kind of scary  
  
DUO:  
  
Like he thinks I'm ordinary  
  
HEERO:  
  
Like it's all just temporary  
  
DUO:  
  
Like his toes are kind of hairy  
  
BOTH: [giving each other fake smiles]  
  
But it's all very well  
  
'Cause god knows, I'll never tell! Duo opens the newspaper. The headline on the front page reads: MAYHEM CAUSED. MONSTERS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, OFFICIALS SAY. HEERO:  
  
When things get rough, he  
  
Just hides behind his Noin-y! [Duo gives her a look]  
  
Now look, he's getting huffy  
  
'Cause he knows that I know.  
  
DUO  
  
He clings  
  
He's needy  
  
He's also really greedy  
  
He nev-  
  
HEERO:  
  
His eyes are beady!  
  
DUO:  
  
This is my verse, hello!  
  
He- Heero begins to dance in flapper style. HEERO: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancing crazy! Duo joins the dance and they dance together around the apartment. BOTH:  
  
You know...  
  
DUO:  
  
You're quite the charmer.  
  
HEERO:  
  
My knight in armor.  
  
DUO:  
  
You're the cutest of the Scoobies  
  
With your lips as bold as rubies  
  
And your firm yet supple- [catches himself]  
  
Tight embrace! They resume dancing, then go to opposite sides of the dining room table and sit. HEERO:  
  
He's swell  
  
DUO:  
  
He's sweller  
  
HEERO:  
  
He'll always be my feller  
  
DUO:  
  
That's why I'll never tell him that I'm petrified.  
  
HEERO:  
  
I've read this tale  
  
There's wedding, then betrayal  
  
I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide. They get up, crawl across the table toward each other. BOTH:  
  
I lied  
  
I said it's easy  
  
I've tried  
  
But there's these fears I've can't quell They sit with their backs pressed against each other. DUO:  
  
Is he looking for a pot of gold?  
  
HEERO:  
  
Will I look good when I've gotten old? [stands up]  
  
DUO:  
  
Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?  
  
HEERO:  
  
When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley? They get up, resume dancing. DUO:  
  
Am I crazy?  
  
HEERO:  
  
Am I dreamin'?  
  
DUO:  
  
Am I marrying a demon?  
  
BOTH:  
  
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!  
  
So, thank god, I'll never tell!  
  
I swear that I'll never tell! They walk around the table, toward the couches in the living-room area. DUO:  
  
My lips are sealed  
  
HEERO:  
  
I take the Fifth  
  
DUO:  
  
Nothing to see  
  
Move it along  
  
BOTH:  
  
I'll never  
  
Tell! They both fall back onto the sofa, clutching each other and laughing fake Hollywood-musical laughs.  
  
Cut to the street. Heero and Duo are on either side of Howard, all walking down the street. Heero and Duo both talking at once. DUO: It's a nightmare.  
  
HEERO: It has to be stopped.  
  
DUO: It's a plague. It's like a nightmare about a plague.  
  
HEERO: It was like we were being watched.  
  
DUO: It's like, I didn't wanna be saying things-  
  
HEERO: Like there was a wall missing-  
  
DUO: -but they just kept pouring out.  
  
HEERO: -in our apartment.  
  
DUO: And they rhymed and they were mean and  
  
HEERO: Like there were only three walls and not a fourth wall and  
  
DUO: My eyes are not beady!  
  
HEERO: My toes are not hairy! They stop talking over each other. DUO: Giles, you've got to stop it.  
  
HOWARD: Well, I am looking into some leads, and I-  
  
HEERO: It's just, clearly our number is a retro pastiche that's never going to be a breakaway pop hit.  
  
DUO: Work with me, British man. Give me an axe and show me where to point it. We hear a woman singing but we can't see her or make out the words yet. HOWARD: Well now, Duo, it's not quite that simple. But I have learned about some disturbing things. Basically- They continue talking in the background as we focus on a woman who is standing by her car singing to a policeman. The cop is writing her a parking ticket and we see that her car is parked next to a fire hydrant. As she sings we can see Howard, Duo, and Heero standing and talking in background. WOMAN:  
  
I'm asking you please no  
  
It isn't right, it isn't fair  
  
There was no parking anywhere  
  
I think that hydrant wasn't there  
  
[cop gives her the ticket]  
  
Why can't you let it go?  
  
I think I've paid more than my share... She continues singing in the background as Duo, Heero, and Howard resume walking and talking. DUO: As in burnt up? Somebody set people on fire? That's nuts!  
  
HEERO: I don't know. One more verse of our little ditty and I would've been looking for a gas can.  
  
HOWARD: Well, clearly emotions are running high. (We see people in background dancing together) But as far as I can tell these people burnt up from the inside, spontaneously combusted. (Three street sweeper men in background dancing with brooms) I've only seen the one. I was able to examine the body while the police were taking witness arias.  
  
DUO: Okay, but we're sure that the things are related: the singing and dancing, and burning and dying. They stop walking. The street sweepers continue their dance in background. HOWARD: We're not sure of much. Noin's looking for leads at the local demon haunts, at least ... in theory she is, but ... she doesn't seem to-  
  
DUO: She's easing back into it. We pulled her out of an untold hell dimension. Ergo the weirdness. The important thing is to be there for her.  
  
HOWARD: (shakes head) I'm helping her as much as I can, but, uh... Heero pats Howard awkwardly on the shoulder.  
  
Cut to Relena's crypt. Noin enters. Relena emerges from his underground lair. RELENA: The sun sets and she appears. (climbs up the rest of the way) Come to serenade me?  
  
NOIN: So you know what's going on.  
  
RELENA: Well, I've seen some damn funny things in the last two days. A 600 pound Chirago demon making like Yma Sumac, that one will stay with you. I remain immune, happy to say. (holds up a bottle of whiskey) Drink?  
  
NOIN: A world of no. (sits) So any idea what's causing this?  
  
RELENA: (disappointed) Oh. So that's all. You've just come to pump me for information.  
  
NOIN: What else would I wanna pump you for? (cringes) I really just said that, didn't I?  
  
RELENA: Yeah, well ... don't wanna bore you with the small talk. Relena walks to the door, opens it and turns toward Noin. RELENA: Don't know a thing.  
  
NOIN: (frowns) What's up? You're all bad 'n moody.  
  
RELENA: Nothing. Glad you could stop by. She makes a gesture toward the door. Noin stays seated, looks at him. RELENA: (defensive) It's nothing.  
  
NOIN: What?  
  
RELENA:  
  
I died  
  
So many years ago.  
  
[Relena looks surprised to hear herself singing. Noin rolls her eyes]  
  
But you can make me feel  
  
Like it isn't so [shakes her head, closes the door]  
  
And why you come to be with me  
  
I think I finally know  
  
Mmm, mmm.  
  
You're scared.  
  
Ashamed of what you feel  
  
[Noin not looking at him]  
  
And you can't tell the ones you love  
  
You know they couldn't deal  
  
[Now she looks at her, frowns]  
  
Whisper in a dead man's ear,  
  
It doesn't make it real. [points to her head] Noin looks at him, then looks away. Relena rolls her eyes in annoyance. RELENA:  
  
That's great.  
  
But I don't wanna play. [walks over to a coffin]  
  
'Cause being with you touches me  
  
More than I can say.  
  
But since I'm only dead to you [jumps up to sit on the coffin]  
  
I'm saying stay away [lies down on the coffin, crosses arms over her chest]  
  
And let me rest in peace. Relena jumps up and the song takes on an angry rock beat for the refrain. RELENA:  
  
Let me rest in peace  
  
Let me get some sleep  
  
[grabs whiskey bottle and throws it against the wall. Noin jumps up]  
  
Let me take my love and bury it  
  
In a hole six foot deep  
  
I can lay my body down [advancing on Noin]  
  
But I can't find my sweet release  
  
[turns away from her with an angry gesture]  
  
So let me rest in peace! Noin looks annoyed, turns toward the door, but Relena intercepts her. RELENA:  
  
You know  
  
You've got a willing slave [goes to her knees]  
  
And you just love to play the thought  
  
That you might misbehave. [Noin rolls her eyes]  
  
But till you do I'm telling you, [stands up]  
  
Stop visiting my grave  
  
[angrily]  
  
And let me rest in peace. Relena yanks the door open again. Cut to the graveyard. A group of men carry a coffin along. A few dozen yards away we see Relena and Noin walking along side-by-side. RELENA:  
  
I know I should go  
  
But I follow you like a man possessed  
  
There's a traitor here beneath my breast  
  
[exchanges a look with Noin]  
  
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed [looking at Noin]  
  
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest  
  
[they stop walking]  
  
But I can see you're unimpressed  
  
[angrily] So leave me be. Relena jumps up onto the coffin being carried by the men. RELENA:  
  
And let me rest in peace  
  
Let me get some sleep The pall-bearers tip the coffin and Relena tumbles off the end of it, bounces to her feet and shifts into game face. RELENA:  
  
Let me take my love and bury it  
  
In a hole six foot deep She rampages through the mourners, tossing their folding-chairs aside. The people scatter. RELENA:  
  
I can lay my body down  
  
But I can't find my sweet release... She grabs the priest, stares at her. Noin comes up behind Relena, grabs her and turns her around. Relena and Noin tumble backward into the open grave. Relena lands on his back with Noin on top of her. She's back in human face. RELENA:  
  
Let me rest in peace.  
  
Why won't you  
  
Let me rest in peace?  
  
They still lie in the grave with Noin on top. She stares at Relena for a moment, then gets off her, leaps out of the grave and runs off. Relena pokes her head up out of the grave to watch her go. RELENA: (spoken) So ... you're not staying then?  
  
Cut to Mariamaia's bedroom. Mariamaia is dumping stuff out of her schoolbag. Catherine watches from the doorway. Catherine has the "forget" herb pinned to her blouse. CATHERINE: Lotta homework?  
  
MARIAMAIA: Ah, math. It seemed cool when we were singing about it.  
  
CATHERINE: (smiles) Sally said they have a lead on the whole musical extravaganza evil. This demon that can be summoned, some sort of Lord of the Dance. (grins) Oh, but not the scary one. Just a demon.  
  
MARIAMAIA: Um ... do they know who summoned it?  
  
CATHERINE: They don't even know its name yet. But Sally will find out. She's the brainy type. (smiles)  
  
MARIAMAIA: Hm. (smiles at Catherine) I'm glad you guys made up.  
  
CATHERINE: What?  
  
MARIAMAIA: That fight you guys had about magic and stuff? It gives me belly rumblings when you guys fight.  
  
CATHERINE: (confused) Mariamaia, Sally and I never fought about-  
  
MARIAMAIA: It's okay. It's just ... you guys are so great together. I just hate it when you-  
  
Catherine puts her hand to the herb on her blouse, removes it. Her song melody plays in background. MARIAMAIA: But that was the only fight I've seen you guys have anyway. But I'm still glad it's over.  
  
CATHERINE: (staring at the herb) Mariamaia, I, um ... there's something I need at the shop. Will you be okay for a little while?  
  
MARIAMAIA: Yes. The fifteen-year-old can spend a half an hour alone in her locked house.  
  
CATHERINE: I-I won't be gone long. Catherine leaves. Mariamaia goes over to a side table, opens a small wooden box. It's filled with stuff she has taken from the magic shop. She takes out the necklace from before and puts it on, looks at herself in the mirror. MARIAMAIA: (sings) Does anybody even notice? Does anybody even care? She turns around to find a demon (Sweet's minion) standing behind her. Its whole head is like a big mask. We see there are actually three of the minions. They throw a bag over Mariamaia's head. She continues screaming, muffled.  
  
Blackout.  
  
Act III  
  
Open on the Bronze. Pan down to reveal Mariamaia asleep on the pool table. She suddenly jerks awake, sits up, begins to do a ballet dance. She leaps down off the pool table and is confronted by one of the mask minions. They do a ballet-ish dance that basically represents Mariamaia trying to escape and the demon stopping her. The other two demons appear and join the dance. They surround Mariamaia as she huddles close to the floor. Then they fling her and she goes sliding across the floor, stopping beside the stage. We see Sweet's feet in red pants and black-and-white dance shoes. They begin to do a tap-dance number, dance down the stairs and toward Mariamaia... Meanwhile the camera moves up to reveal Sweet. He dances around to the other side of Mariamaia.  
  
SWEET:  
  
Why'd you run away?  
  
Don't you like my ... style? He snaps his fingers and his red suit turns to a blue one. SWEET:  
  
Why don't you come and play?  
  
I guarantee a... He reaches up to his face, pulls off his mouth and holds the disembodied mouth in Mariamaia's face. She stares in shock as the mouth continues singing. SWEET: ...great big smile. The mouth disappears from his hand and reappears in its normal place. SWEET:  
  
I come from the  
  
Imagination  
  
And I'm here strictly by your  
  
Invocation [holds up a scroll covered with writing]  
  
So what do you say?  
  
Why don't we dance awhile? He dances over to Mariamaia, gestures at her, then dances away again. SWEET:  
  
I'm the hot swing  
  
I'm the twist and shout  
  
[tap dances]  
  
When you gotta sing,  
  
When you gotta ... let it out.  
  
[shot of the three minions dancing to the tune]  
  
You call me and I come a-running [dances back toward Mariamaia]  
  
I turn the music on  
  
I bring the fun in  
  
[makes a string-pulling gesture at Mariamaia, who gets up]  
  
Now we're partyin'  
  
That's what it's all about. [chuckles] He dances toward Mariamaia and she dances backward. SWEET: 'Cause I know ... what you feel, girl. He puts his arms around her and they dance together. Mariamaia looks scared. SWEET: I know just what you feel, girl. He spins Mariamaia away, she dances a few steps away from him.  
  
MARIAMAIA: (spoken, nervous) So ... you're like a good demon? Bringing the fun in? Sweet laughs, shakes his head "no." SWEET:  
  
All these melodies ... [Mariamaia sits]  
  
They go on too long  
  
Then that energy  
  
[minions doing a dance-fight]  
  
Starts to come on way too strong  
  
All those hearts laid open, that must sting  
  
[a door appears beside Sweet, he reaches for the knob]  
  
Plus, some customers just start combusting Sweet opens the door and a charred smoking corpse falls through it. Mariamaia stares in horror. SWEET:  
  
That's the penalty [dances back over to her]  
  
When life is but a song.  
  
[dancing up very close to Mariamaia, she looks very nervous]  
  
You brought me down into this town  
  
So, when we blow this scene  
  
Back we will go to my kingdom below  
  
And you will be my queen Sweet makes a gesture and Mariamaia's clothing turns to a satiny ball gown.  
  
SWEET:  
  
'Cause I know what you feel, girl [dances up onto the stage]  
  
MARIAMAIA:  
  
No, you see  
  
You and me  
  
Wouldn't be very regal  
  
SWEET:  
  
I'll make it real, girl [dancing around the stage]  
  
MARIAMAIA:  
  
What I mean  
  
I'm fifteen  
  
So this queen thing's illegal  
  
SWEET: [jumps back onto the floor]  
  
I can bring whole cities to ruin  
  
And still have time to get a soft-shoe in  
  
MARIAMAIA:  
  
Well, that's great  
  
But I'm late  
  
And I'd hate to delay her  
  
SWEET: [dancing around her]  
  
Something's cooking, I'm at the griddle  
  
I bought Nero his very first fiddle  
  
MARIAMAIA:  
  
She'll get pissed  
  
If I'm missed  
  
See, my sister's the Slayer Sweet stops in mid-kick, looks surprised, stops dancing, turns to Mariamaia. SWEET: (spoken) The Slayer?  
  
MARIAMAIA: (nods, nervously) Yuh-huh.  
  
SWEET: (chuckles, turns to minions) Find her. Tell her ... tell her everything. (Dawn looks nervous) Just get her here. I want to see the Slayer burn. Mariamaia looks alarmed. SWEET: (sings) Now we're partying. That's what it's all about.  
  
Cut to the workout room. Howard holds a large piece of wood. Noin kicks it in two. HOWARD: Good. Good.  
  
NOIN: I feel like I should ... bow, or ... have honor or something.  
  
HOWARD: It may seem hokey, but we need to work on precision and concentration as much as power. (goes to put the wood down) We're still not sure what we're facing.  
  
NOIN: (puts one leg up on the horse, stretches) Oh, you'll figure it out. I'm just worried this whole session's gonna turn into some training montage from an 80's movie.  
  
HOWARD: Ah. Well, if we hear any inspirational power chords, we'll just lie down until they go away. (picks up a towel) Anyway, I don't think we need to work that much on your strength.  
  
NOIN: Yeah, I'm pretty spry for a corpse. (doing a handstand on the horse)  
  
HOWARD: (pauses) Have you spoken to Mariamaia about that incident at Halloween? Noin leaps down from the horse, frowns.  
  
NOIN: Oh. I thought you took care of that. (stretching her arms)  
  
HOWARD: (softly) Right.  
  
NOIN: (oblivious) What would I do without you? Howard looks pensive, turns and begins to walk toward a set of weapons in a display case on the wall.  
  
NOIN: Okay. I'm ready.  
  
HOWARD:  
  
You're not ready for the world outside  
  
You keep pretending, but you just can't hide  
  
[picks up something from weapons case]  
  
I know I said that I'd be standing by your side  
  
[walks toward Noin]  
  
But I... Howard throws a small knife at Noin. She leans backward, lets it fly past her. HOWARD:  
  
Your path's unbeaten and it's all uphill  
  
[throws another knife, which she deflects with one hand]  
  
And you can meet it, but you never will  
  
[walking back toward the weapons]  
  
And I'm the reason that you're standing still  
  
[looks at her as she stands waiting]  
  
But I...  
  
[walks back, throws another knife, Noin kicks it aside in slow-motion]  
  
I wish I could say the right words  
  
To lead you through this land.  
  
[Noin still kicking in slo-mo]  
  
Wish I could play the father  
  
And take you by the hand [reaching out his hand, then pulls it back]  
  
Wish I could stay here  
  
But now I understand  
  
[walks closer as Noin does a handspring and then a split in slo-mo]  
  
I'm standing in the way. As Howard continues singing, we cut to the magic shop. Catherine walks in as Sally has her back turned. Sally doesn't see Catherine. HOWARD: The cries around you, you don't hear at all Catherine walks quickly toward the back, crying, looking at the herb in her hand, begins to climb the steps to the loft. HOWARD: 'Cause you know I'm here to take that call Cut back to the workout room. Howard walks around the perimeter in regular speed as Noin does flips across the center of the room in slo-mo. HOWARD:  
  
So you just lie there when you should be standing tall  
  
But I...  
  
[Noin punching the punching bag in slo-mo as Howard walks around her]  
  
I wish I could lay your arms down  
  
And let you rest at last  
  
Wish I could slay your demons  
  
But now that time has passed  
  
Wish I could stay here  
  
Your stalwart, standing fast  
  
But I've been standing in the way. Noin walks right up in front of Howard, shaking her hair out, still in slo- mo.  
  
HOWARD: I'm just standing ... in the way.  
  
Noin returns to regular speed. NOIN: (spoken) Did you just say something? Cut to the loft. Catherine looks through a book. She holds the piece of dried herb up to a picture of the same herb. Close shot on the book. The herb is labeled "Lethe's Bramble. Used for augmenting spells of forgetting and mind control."  
  
CATHERINE: (same melody from her previous song)  
  
I'm under your spell  
  
God, how can this be?  
  
Playing with my memory  
  
[turns, goes to the edge of the loft and looks down]  
  
You know I've been through hell  
  
Willow, don't you see?  
  
[below, we see Noin go over to Sally and greet her]  
  
There'll be nothing left of me  
  
You made me believe.  
  
[Howard emerges from the back, overlaps with Catherine's last word]  
  
HOWARD: Believe me, I don't wanna go  
  
HOWARD/CATHERINE: And it'll grieve me 'cause I love you so  
  
[shot of Sally and Noin talking, oblivious to the singing]  
  
HOWARD/CATHERINE: But we both know Cathrine comes down the stairs and Howard sits at the table as they sing. HOWARD CATHERINE Wish I could say the right words Wish I could trust that it was just this once  
  
To lead you through this land But I must do what I must Wish I could play the father I can't adjust to this disgust  
  
And take you by the hand We're done and I just HOWARD/CATHERINE:  
  
Wish I could stay  
  
[Catherine reaches the ground level, Howard stands up]  
  
Wish I could stay  
  
Wish I could stay  
  
[They both walk toward the front of the store. Another shot of Noin and Sally talking]  
  
HOWARD/CATHERINE:  
  
Wish I could stay...  
  
Catherine and Howard stand side-by-side as their song ends. Suddenly Relena bursts into the magic shop pulling one of Sweet's minions. Everyone turns to look. RELENA: Lookie lookie what I found.  
  
CATHERINE: Is-is this the demon guy?  
  
SALLY: (happily) Catherine! Catherine ignores her. Sally looks surprised. Duo and Heero emerge from the back.  
  
RELENA: Works for him. Has a nice little story for the Slayer, don't you? Come on, then. (shoves the minion forward) Sing.  
  
The music swells up dramatically as if to introduce a big musical number, but the minion simply speaks in normal voice. MINION: My master has the Slayer's sister hostage at the Bronze because she summoned him and at midnight he's going to take her to the underworld to be his queen.  
  
HOWARD: What does he want?  
  
MINION: (indicates Noin) Her.  
  
RELENA: (scoffs) If that's all you've got to say, then- Relena tries to grab the minion but he breaks free and runs off. RELENA: (surprised) Strong. Someday he'll be a real boy.  
  
NOIN: So. Mariamaia's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.  
  
CATHERINE: I-I just left her for a few minutes.  
  
NOIN: Oh, it's not your fault. So what's the plan?  
  
DUO: Plan, schman. Let's mount up.  
  
HOWARD: No.  
  
HEERO: Uh, Mariamaia may have had the wrong idea in summoning this creature, but ... I've seen some of these underworld child bride deals and, and they never end well. Well, maybe once.  
  
SALLY: We're not just gonna stay here.  
  
HOWARD: Yes we are. (looks intently at Noin) Noin's going alone.  
  
RELENA: (disgusted laugh) Gah! Don't be a stupid git. There is no-  
  
HOWARD: If I want your opinion, Relena, I'll- (pauses to consider) I'll never want your opinion.  
  
SALLY: A little confusion spell could-  
  
CATHERINE: No! (Sally looks surprised) I mean, I don't think it'll help.  
  
RELENA: (to Noin) Look, forget them, Slayer. I've got your back.  
  
NOIN: I thought you wanted me to stay away from you. Isn't that what you sang?  
  
DUO: Relena sing a widdle song?  
  
HEERO: Would you say it was a breakaway pop hit or more of a book number?  
  
DUO: Let it go, sweetie.  
  
RELENA: (to Noin, angrily) Fine. I hope you dance till you burn. You and the little bit. Relena exits. Noin looks at Howard.  
  
NOIN: You're really not coming.  
  
HOWARD: (walks up to her) It's up to you, Noin.  
  
NOIN: (upset) What do you expect me to do?  
  
HOWARD: Your best. Noin stares at him.  
  
Cut to the street. It's dark, red lighting. Some people are doing an angry dance-fight. Pan down to focus on a garbage can with a fire burning inside it. Noin walks up in foreground, holds her hand out to the fire.  
  
NOIN: (verse one)  
  
I touch the fire and it freezes me  
  
I look into it and it's black  
  
Why can't I feel? [looking at her hand]  
  
My skin should crack and peel  
  
[turns to glare at the camera]  
  
I want the fire back! Cut to the Bronze. Smoke swirls as Sweet shoves Mariamaia into a chair, goes to sit in another chair beside her. Mariamaia looks scared. NOIN:  
  
Now through the smoke, she calls to me  
  
To make my way across the flame  
  
[cut back to Noin standing on the street]  
  
To save the day  
  
Or maybe melt away  
  
I guess it's all the same  
  
So I will walk [starts to walk] through the fire  
  
'Cause where else can I turn?  
  
I will walk through the fire  
  
And let it- Cut to Relena sitting in an alley smoking a cigarette. RELENA:  
  
The torch I bear is scorching me  
  
Noin's laughing, I've no doubt [takes a drag]  
  
I hope she fries  
  
I'm free if that bitch dies!  
  
[tosses cigarette away angrily, then jumps up]  
  
I better help her out. [starts walking]  
  
Cut to the Bronze.  
  
SWEET:  
  
'Cause she is drawn to the fire.  
  
SWEET:  
  
Some people  
  
RELENA:  
  
She will  
  
RELENA/SWEET:  
  
never learn. [Relena walking down the street. Sweet standing up in the Bronze] RELENA/SWEET:  
  
And she will walk through the fire  
  
And let it-  
  
Cut to the magic shop. Sally and Catherine sit at the table not looking at each other. Howard stands behind the counter. HOWARD:  
  
Will this do a thing to change her?  
  
Am I leaving Mariamaia in danger?  
  
Is my slayer too far gone to care?  
  
DUO:  
  
What if Noin can't defeat it?  
  
HEERO:  
  
Beady Eyes is right, we're needed!  
  
Or we could just sit around and glare. [looks at Sally and Catherine] Howard comes out from behind the counter, gives Sally and Catherine a look. They get up, and they all start walking toward the door. HEERO/HOWARD/CATHERINE/SALLY/DUO:  
  
We'll see it through  
  
It's what we're always here to do  
  
So we will walk through the fire Cut to Noin walking alone through an alley. |NOIN: | |CATHERINE: (descant) | |So one by one, they turn from me | | | |I guess my friends can't face the cold | |What can't we face... | |But why I froze, not one among them knows | |If we're together? | |And never can be told. | | |  
  
The following sequence has Sweet split-screened with the Scoobies as they walk along the street singing. | |SWEET: |NOIN: | |HEERO: She came from the grave |So one by one they | | |much graver |turn to me | | |RELENA: First he'll kill her, |The distant redness as|Going through | |then I'll save her |their guide |the motions | |CATHERINE: Everything is | |Walking through | |turning out so dark |That single flame |the part | |RELENA: No, I'll save her, then|Ain't what they had in| | |I'll kill her |mind. | | |SALLY: I think this line's |It's what they have | | |mostly filler |inside. | | |HOWARD: What's it gonna take to| | | |strike a spark? | | |  
  
|NOIN: | |SWEET: | |These endless days are finally ending in a blaze | |She will come to me.|  
  
ALL:  
  
And we are caught in the fire  
  
[Noin walking down the street alone]  
  
The point of no return  
  
So we will walk through the fire  
  
[The Scoobies walking down the street. A fire engine goes by behind them with lights flashing]  
  
And let it  
  
Burn  
  
Let it burn  
  
[Relena jumps over a fence, is in an alley]  
  
Let it burn  
  
Let it burn! Noin kicks down the door of the Bronze. It smashes to pieces. SWEET (spoken) Showtime! (chuckles)  
  
Blackout.  
  
Act IV  
  
Noin walks into the Bronze, looks around, sees Sweet and Mariamaia sitting in chairs on the stage. SWEET: I love a good entrance.  
  
NOIN: How are you with death scenes? Sweet just chuckles. Noin walks a little closer. NOIN: You got a name?  
  
SWEET: I've got a hundred.  
  
NOIN: Well, I ought to know what to call you if you're gonna be my brother- in-law.  
  
MARIAMAIA: Noin, I swear I didn't do it.  
  
NOIN: Don't worry. You're not going anywhere. (Sweet looks at her) I am.  
  
MARIAMAIA: What? (Sweet looks interested, sits forward)  
  
NOIN: (to Sweet) Deal's this. I can't kill you? You take me to Hellsville in her place.  
  
SWEET: (scoffs) What if I kill you?  
  
NOIN: (deadpan) Trust me. Won't help.  
  
SWEET: Hm, that's gloomy!  
  
NOIN: That's life.  
  
SWEET: (chuckles) Come now, is that really what you feel? Isn't life a miraculous thing?  
  
NOIN: I think you already know. NOIN: Life's a show  
  
And we all play our parts  
  
And when the music starts  
  
[unbuttons her jacket, opens it]  
  
We open up our hearts.  
  
[drops jacket to the floor]  
  
It's all right  
  
If some things come out wrong  
  
[looks over, sees the minions holding pool cues]  
  
We'll sing a happy song  
  
And you can sing along.  
  
The beat changes to a harsh hard-rock tune with lots of electric guitar. The minions attack.  
  
NOIN:  
  
Where there's life [grabs pool cue from minion, hits him]  
  
There's hope  
  
Every day's [elbows second minion]  
  
A gift  
  
Wishes can [kick]  
  
Come true  
  
Whistle while [punch]  
  
You work [blow with pool cue]  
  
So hard [blow]  
  
All day [throws pool cue, impales third minion] Back to the original ballad melody. NOIN: To be like other girls. Howard, Heero, Duo, Sally, and Catherine run in. NOIN:  
  
To fit in this glittering world. [Sweet watching, listening]  
  
Don't give me songs. HOWARD: (spoken) She needs backup. Heero, Catherine.  
  
NOIN: Don't give me songs.  
  
Heero and Catherine take up positions behind Noin to be her backup singers and dancers. The three of them move in sync.  
  
NOIN:  
  
Give me something to sing about.  
  
HEERO/CATHERINE:  
  
Ahhhhh...  
  
NOIN:  
  
I need something to sing about.  
  
HEERO/CATHERINE:  
  
Ahhhhh... More dancing. The hard-rock beat returns. They dance to it for a minute, then return to the first dance and the ballad. NOIN:  
  
Life's a song  
  
You don't get to rehearse.  
  
And every single verse  
  
Can make it that much worse.  
  
[Heero and Catherine stop dancing, move to background]  
  
[Noin puts up a hand as if to shield herself from the sight of her friends]  
  
Still my friends  
  
Don't know why I ignore  
  
The million things or more  
  
I should be dancing for.  
  
Back to the hard-rock tune. Noin continues dancing alone. NOIN:  
  
All the joy  
  
Life sends  
  
Family  
  
And friends  
  
All the twists  
  
And bends  
  
Knowing that  
  
It ends  
  
Well that  
  
Depends Back to the ballad melody. NOIN:  
  
On if they let you go  
  
[looking around at the Scoobies]  
  
On if they know enough to know  
  
[walking up the steps to the stage]  
  
That when you've bowed  
  
You leave the crowd.  
  
She walks up onto the stage, looks back at the others, then at Sweet still sitting. He makes his string-pulling gesture. Noin walks right up to him. NOIN:  
  
There was no pain  
  
No fear, no doubt  
  
Till they pulled me out  
  
Of Heaven.  
  
[looks back at the others. Howard and Duo looking surprised]  
  
So that's my refrain.  
  
[Sally looking horrified]  
  
I live in Hell  
  
[Duo looking horrified]  
  
'Cause I've been expelled  
  
From Heaven  
  
I think I was in Heaven  
  
[Sally looking horrified]  
  
So give me something to sing about.  
  
[whirls around to look at Sweet]  
  
Please  
  
Give me something... Sweet shakes his head. Noin gives a desperate look, turns and flips off the stage onto the floor. The hard-rock tune returns with the electric guitars playing a wild riff. Noin dances, faster and faster. Mariamaia watches in dismay. Sweet leans forward expectantly. Noin spins wildly round and round and round, smoke begins to curl off her. Suddenly Relena appears, stops her by grabbing her upper arms. Noin gives her a desperate unhappy look. RELENA:  
  
Life's not a song  
  
Life isn't bliss  
  
Life is just this  
  
It's living  
  
[brushes hair back from her face]  
  
You'll get along  
  
[Mariamaia stands up]  
  
The pain that you feel  
  
You only can heal  
  
By living  
  
[Noin looks about to cry]  
  
You have to go one living  
  
So one of us is living. Noin stares at Relena. Mariamaia walks forward to the edge of the stage. MARIAMAIA: (spoken) The hardest thing in this world ... is to live in it. Noin looks at Mariamaia, then back at Relena. Shot of Catherine trying to comfort Sally.  
  
Sweet applauds. SWEET: Now that was a show-stopping number. (Noin and Relena turning to look at him) Not quite the fireworks that I was looking for.  
  
SALLY: Get out of here.  
  
SWEET: Mm, I smell power. (stands) I guess the little missus and I should be on our way. (Mariamaia backing away from him in fear, sitting back down)  
  
HOWARD: That's never going to happen.  
  
SWEET: (chuckling) I don't make the rules. She summoned me.  
  
MARIAMAIA: (to Sweet) I so did not. (to others) He keeps saying that.  
  
SWEET: You have my talisman on, sweet thing. Sweet reaches to touch the necklace Mariamaia is wearing. She cringes in fear, cowers away from him. MARIAMAIA: (very nervous) Oh, but, no, I, I, um, uh, this, at, at the Magic Box, on the floor, I was, I was cleaning, and I ... forgot ... but ... I didn't summon anything.  
  
SWEET: Well now, that's a twist.  
  
HOWARD: If it was in the shop ... then one of us probably... Beat. They all look around at each other. Slowly Duo raises his hand. HEERO: Duo?!  
  
DUO: Well, I didn't know what was gonna happen! I just thought there were gonna be dances and songs. (to Heero) I just wanted to make sure we'd... we'd work out. (nervous smile) Get a happy ending.  
  
SWEET: (chuckling) I think everything worked out just fine.  
  
DUO: Does this mean that I have to... (gulp) be your queen? (Heero looks anxious)  
  
SWEET: It's tempting. (Duo looking apprehensive) But I think we'll waive that clause just this once. Duo is intensely relieved. Everyone else just continues watching Sweet. SWEET: Big smiles everyone! You beat the bad guy. He does a quick spin.  
  
SWEET: What a lot of fun  
  
You guys have been real swell  
  
[chuckles, begins dancing]  
  
And there's not a one  
  
Who can say this ended well  
  
[Noin and Relena watching]  
  
All those secrets you've been concealing  
  
[Sally, Catherine, Howard, and Duo watching]  
  
Say you're happy now,  
  
Once more with feeling.  
  
Now I gotta run  
  
See you all... He turns into a ball of light that swirls around their heads, leaving a sparkly trail. They watch it go. SWEET: ...in heeeeeeell!  
  
Everyone stands around looking kind of shell-shocked. Mariamaia walks across the stage in foreground with the others in background.  
  
MARIAMAIA:  
  
Where do we go ... from here? [walks to the steps and down]  
  
NOIN/RELENA:  
  
Where do we go ... from here?  
  
HOWARD:  
  
The battle's done  
  
And we kind of won  
  
HOWARD/CATHERINE:  
  
So we sound our victory cheer  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
HEERO/DUO:  
  
Why is the path unclear  
  
When we know home is near? They all move to stand in a line side-by-side. ALL:  
  
Understand we'll go hand in hand [all join hands]  
  
But we'll walk alone in fear. [all release hands and walk off in different directions]  
  
HOWARD:  
  
Tell me!  
  
ALL:  
  
Where do we go from here?  
  
When does the end appear? They all make a dance gesture with their arms. Close on Relena. In the middle of singing "appear" he suddenly stops, scoffs, puts his arm down. RELENA: (spoken) Bugger this. Relena turns and leaves. The song continues without him. ALL:  
  
When do the trumpets cheer?  
  
The curtains close on a kiss, god knows  
  
Cut to outside. Relena exits and begins walking down the street. ALL: (faintly) we can tell the end is near. Noin comes out of the Bronze after Relena. NOIN: (spoken) Hey.  
  
ALL: (faintly) Where do we go from here?  
  
RELENA: (spoken) You should go back inside. Finish the big group sing. Get your kum-ba-yayas out.  
  
NOIN: I don't want to.  
  
RELENA: (sighs) The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones.  
  
NOIN: Relena...  
  
RELENA: Look, you don't have to say anything. NOIN: (sings) I touch the fire and it freezes me. Relena looks surprised. They walk toward each other. RELENA: (sings) I died... |NOIN: | |RELENA: | |I look into it and it's black | |So many years ago. | |This isn't real | |But you can make me | |But I just want to feel | |Feel |  
  
As they hold the last note on "feel" they walk right up to each other. They finish the song and kiss passionately. ALL: (singing) Where do we go from here? Curtains close over Noin and Relena as they continue kissing. Blackout. 


End file.
